My daughter wants a bike for Cristmas, my wife she wants a car,
My eldest boy still plays with dolls, I know he won't get far.
All I want is a pint of beer and a nice fat cigar,
So I go down to the pub and have a jar.
It's a hard knock life, it's a cruel, cruel world,
I work all day but there's no reward,
Running round in circles, chasing my tail,
Talking bullshit, got nothing else for sale.
Working to pay the taxman, working to pay the rent,
A couple of pints and my moneys all been spent.
I get back home at 10.15, too early to go to bed,
My daughter's playing dancehall and it rattles round my head.
The wife puts in her rollers, not a pleasant sight,
Good thing she has a headache, she has one every night.
Chorus
There's nothing to come home for, no wonder I'm so vexed,
Christmas Eve, 1992 was the last time I had sex.
Chorus
I'm not ashamed to tell you, it wasn't with my wife,
To a desperate man her sister's twice as nice.
I wake up in the morning, it's a quarter past five,
My wife let's out a rasper so I know she's still alive.
Jump into my beat up car, the bitch won't start again,
So I walk down to the station for a train.
Chorus
The wind howls round my frozen ears, the snow soaks in my shoes,
So I light a fag and I sing these crazy blues.